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MacandBloo101

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I miss 'ol DeviantART green. And I miss customizing my page with goofy old plz accounts and stamps ;-; I wish I took screenshots of it or something...


I want it back, even for a few days, I want to screenshot my page.

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I do check here once in a while, but I post once in a blue moon and check deviations from artists I'm watching extremely close to never.
If you want my active social media, send me a note, but please take no offense if I don't respond.

Reason I don't post here as often is because posts are limited to only one picture. I've been doing more traditional art lately. I don't feel like putting the work of getting the scanner ready and adjusting effects on the photo so it looks all nice, y'know? It'd be nice if I posted more often, having more activity on this 'ol account. And that's another thing, too: cringy posts from many years ago, ahaha >u>; I want to keep it, but I also don't. I like looking back on things.
I should probably clean up this place...
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I don't know how many personal and reflecting-type journals I've made total, but I'm just gonna start with a journal from 2017 and the two journals I made last year in July:


I know that barely anyone reads my journals, but that's exactly why I'm posting it here. Just a place for my rambling thoughts that may or may not enlighten someone else.

- * - * - * - * - * - * -

Life. Yeah.
I think I'm directionless in my life right now. I mean, there's goals to do like driving, getting a job, etc, but... Idk, I'm unsure where to start sometimes (or too scared to), so I just don't do anything. Pretty much procrastinating on my whole life right now. Sometimes (or, most of the time, really) I just do not feel confident in myself to start driving or getting a job. I'm always always worried about my performance on doing homework and I believe that dictates how well I'll do in other areas of my life. I've etched how crazy important HW is into my head, though I still procrastinate on it. I focus so much on school (and how "bad" I think I'm doing) that I forget other things in my life I should be excited about or need to do, like animating or driving or talking to friends. Because I think I'm doing "bad," I lose confidence in everything and I just wanna go hide in a corner and give up or something.

*sigh* I'm on summer break, which is a perfect opportunity to do things that's not HW. Right now, I feel a little more confident than I would be when in school. I'm going to write in a planner and plan things during my break so I can get things done instead of sleep and play games all day. Rest is good, yeah, but there's other things I've wanted to do/finish.

I remember this idea I thought of years ago, which is that if a person has some sort of family, or a place where they feel they truly belong, then they'll feel motivated to keep on going in life. I then go back to myself, who barely talks to people on a normal day except for a close friend or two sometimes (and my pestering brother, heh). I once had this friend group years ago, which felt like family, but it slowly dissolved as we had our own things in life. I'm always always focused on school things, really don't talk much to people in general nowadays, and I've been wondering about my social life.  ( ._.) I've tried messaging some of my friends that I haven't talk to in a while, so that's a little step I guess.

I'm definitely different than I was, even a year ago. 3 years ago. 5 years ago. Lately, I sometimes feel like I forgot who I am. Looking back in the past, I remember being on Hatena/Sudo chats, being chill or content or happy and having a good chat with the others (back when chats were actually active, heh) especially at night. I'd be excited to draw or start a new animation. When I'm in a time crunch, I'd work harder instead of feeling despair and giving up completely. Someday I'll grasp that good energy of the old me and I'll run with it. I won't forget it like how I forget everything during school. I'll work towards that life that the 12 year-old me would be happy about. Now, I know that this motive will eventually run out and I'll be in a hole again, but I just need to remember. I always forget...

I know I don't always reply, but I'd like to thank those that comment on my stuff and support me. <: ) Hope all of you are doing well and/or will do well in your lives as well!
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Really random journal entry at midnight, but I hope that someone out there might find this useful.

Yeah, I play Team Fortress 2. >u>
So I suddenly got the issue of voice commands, voice lines, the announcer voice, and the menu music not playing when I started up TF2. It didn't happen yesterday, it just happened today. I searched around and these solutions are what I got in no particular order (for more detail, search them up on your own— this is just a quick post):

:bulletblue: Double-checking that your sound is on, headphones correctly plugged in, checking sound mixer, etc.

:bulletblue: Verifying the game's cache (right-click game in library -> properties -> local files tab -> Verify integrity of game files)

:bulletblue: In your antivirus, whitelisting the mssmp3.asi file (somewhere in the TF folder)

:bulletblue: Reinstalling TF2

:bulletblue: Deleting the sound files in the cache (TF bin folder), starting up the game, and entering "snd_restart" twice in the console

:bulletgreen: Disabling your Discord or Nvidia overlay


A somewhat strange solution that worked for me was going on the file explorer. Note that I also have SFM installed, which also has the announcer voices and so. On the left you should have quick access and pinned folders, such as documents, music, videos and all that. The "vo" folder was on quick access— I guess because I was playing back the announcer voices for fun an hour or two ago— and I right-clicked and removed it. I booted up my game again and everything was fixed. ._. I don't understand how unpinning a Source Filmmaker folder from quick access would solve it, but it did. If you have any folder from SFM or TF2 pinned to quick access on the file explorer, unpin it.
So there you go.

:iconpootisbirdplz:
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    You know that little device you keep in your pocket or bag? The thing which can be used for calling, texting, searching up things, browsing posts, and playing games? Yep, I'm talking about your phone. Do you ever wonder how often you use or check it? Do you use it while walking or going up/down stairs? Do you use it while in a moving vehicle (car, bus, train, etc)? What social media do you often go to, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, DeviantART, or something else?
For about 17 years of my life, I didn't have a phone. I did have a tablet for about 4 years that I would use relatively often (though not as often as my phone now), but it was a tad too bulky to use or carry everywhere with me. September 2017, I finally got my own phone. Since I could take pictures and have a compatible device, I eventually got an Instagram. I noticed that, ever since I got a phone, it's been a smidge more difficult to concentrate. I notice that I like to check my phone for notifications, even if I don't hear that vibration (my phone's always set to silent). I also notice that I always pick up my phone in the morning and generally waste time browsing Instagram when I come home from school (And darn their infinite-scrolling feature :shakefish: ). I feel that I waste time that could be used for something better, like actually drawing something or more time for homework (since it's takes a while for me to get a good focus), y'know? I wish I could just delete Instagram, but I like posting my art there. >.> (That's why I don't like having too much social media accounts, heh)

    I still make sure not to be so addicted to my phone ever since I got it. I don't use my phone in a moving vehicle (I get headaches anyway), when I'm walking, when I'm talking to someone (unless I'm searching up a specific thing related to the conversation), and sometimes when I'm bored. I make sure to look at my surroundings, the clouds in the sky, the swaying trees, the drips of liquid that someone spilt on the sidewalk, and all that. I keep my drawing journal with me and I draw if it's not too cold and if I feel I have enough time to draw. If I feel that I don't have enough time to do a little doodle, then I'll browse on my phone. :typerhappy:

    Man, social media can be such a huge time waster. Yeah, some people just gotta stay updated with their memes and big celebrities and social news and drama and whatnot, but... We've survived just fine without those. Least, survived fine without such social media at our fingertips. (Look at the 80s, 90s, and 2000s) Now I'm not some angry grandparent saying "you youngsters today are stuck to your phones like glue! Back in my day..." I'm guilty of using social media and checking my phone often as well.

The main point I'm trying to make, amidst this rambling, is everything in moderation. If you constantly use your phone, take a step back and take a little break from it sometimes. Maybe don't always use it when you have nothing to do. Allow yourself to be a little bored. Take a look at things off the internet. :flowerpot: :dummy:
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